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Coping

by Lydia Deetz

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hugh boston indie rock good Favorite track: Bleed.
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1.
July / Intro 00:54
I wanna bash my head into my bedroom wall so hard it'll leave a dent I wanna gouge my fucking eyeballs right out of my head The heat's making me crazy I don't know what else to do Nobody's texted me in about a month or two But it's fine, at least I'm still alive It's fine, I'm really trying
2.
Coping 01:38
I keep having the same old dreams I keep writing the same old songs Some I share and some I don't so no one'll think there's anything wrong I keep singing to strangers about my anxiety It's gotten to the point where I know they know there's something wrong with me Starting to cope like this is better than lying to myself It's also better than keeping my feelings bottled up on a shelf At least no one's pointed out I need a therapist oh god 'Cause I'm trying really hard even though I'm really bad at this
3.
Bleed 02:30
My ears won't stop bleeding 'cause she won't stop screaming in them And following me everywhere I go Abused, misused, yes I will tell the truth But now she's seeking vengeance and won't leave me alone Up, down, around, across the street Chase me down until I bleed Her mouth is foaming while she is roaming the streets trying to track me down Can't hide for much longer while she's getting stronger She always seems to be around somewhere Up, down, around, across the street Following me until I bleed Up, down, around, across the street Chase me down until I bleed Up, down, around, across the street Following me til I bleed
4.
Agoraphobia 01:50
Took the 66 to the end of its route Ignored my bad gut feeling I had nothing better to do And now my hands are sweaty and everyone around me Is a stranger but at least I'm not alone I don't wanna go outside I just wanna feel alive Took a long walk around my neighborhood Ignored the setting sun 'cause I knew I still should And now it's dark and scary and someone could kill me But for now at least I'm all alone I just wanna go outside I don't wanna feel alive I don't wanna go outside I just wanna feel alive
5.
Recital 01:53
Putting my costume on for my performance that won't ever end I have to try to look nice for the fucked up recital in my head Eventually I can go home but I have to put on a good show Even though it's never in my control I've been through this at least a hundred times But I never quite learned how to survive Even though it's all in my head I know this recital still wants me dead Putting my makeup on so no one'll sense it's me Maybe I can run away before the afterparty I'm so used to pretending so I hate that this is the real thing And that everyone is watching but no one seems to care I've been through this at least a hundred times But I never really thought I would survive Even though its all in my head I know this recital still wants me dead
6.
Ghost 02:21
Wishing I could disappear but also wishing I was near I don't know what to say Maybe I could stick around if that means I won't feel down Or act as if I'm far away Look at me Look away Staring down at my hands, brainstorming backup plans Should I head for the door? Constantly floating through time with next to nothing on my mind But secretly there's so much more Look at me Look away Please look at me Look the other way Wishing I could disappear but also wishing I was near I don't know what to say

about

more demos, this time more personal.

guitar/vox/album art by kade thibodeau, they/them
sample in track 6 from beetlejuice//the real lydia deetz herself

all songs written in my room from march - early september and recorded in my room from august - late september. rock n roll.

credits

released October 27, 2018

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Lydia Deetz Boston, Massachusetts

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ on a ~break~ of sorts but still feel free to say hello lydiadeetzmusic@gmail.com

pic above by omari spears
<3

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